Now it's time for another Good Idea, Bad Idea

[cutting_edgex23]

It is best to have a plan, X thinks, when bringing Deadpool home for a visit.

Introducing him to the Cactus With No Name seems safe enough.

For now.

And then they will go to the ocean.

Undead hordes might attack from there at any time.

Plus it is occasionally very entertaining to annoy Namor.

(Shh.)

But first, cactus!

Comments

[littleyellowboxes]

"Swank," Deadpool says, glancing around her apartment. It's nice, in an understated, semi-girly way. It's a little lacking in empty pizza boxes and obviously personal effects.

He watches her expertly block the escape of a gray tabby cat, mostly by reflex.

He notes the shoes under the coat rack (one pair of fancy men's shoes, far too big for her), and wanders over to stare at her fish tank.

"Does this keep you entertained like, all day?" He taps lightly on the glass.

[cutting_edgex23]

"Only sometimes," X answers, scratching Steve McQueen between the ears before releasing him back into the apartment and going in to the kitchen.

Cat food and bloodworms time! One for the cats, of course, and one for the fish.

"It is good for meditation."

Beat.

"You like fish?"

[littleyellowboxes]

"Never had any pets," Deadpool says, absently watching the beta fish charge his finger like it's The Enemy.

"Unless you count Bob."

He's not very cute. Or cuddly.

He squints at her. "You don't meditate upside-down, do you?"

[cutting_edgex23]

X blinks, looking at him for a second before putting bloodworms in the fish tank.

"No. That is inefficient."

Obviously.

"Please do not taunt Logan. He is very stubborn and fierce. I do not want him to die."

[littleyellowboxes]

He immediately stops teasing the fish and turns to stare at her instead. "You...named the fish...Logan?"

Deadpool busts up laughing, bending over to slap his knee and wheeze with helpless amusement.

[cutting_edgex23]

"Yes."

X's response is prompt.

"The personalities match."

It is not a lie!

[littleyellowboxes]

"Oh geez," he manages, before breaking into helpless cackling again. "You're not wrong! Does he know? Tell me he knows."

[cutting_edgex23]

"He knows."

Is X smiling?

(Nah. It is probably a trick of the light. Honest!)

"The grumbling is for show."

[littleyellowboxes]

"I have literally never said this about Wolverine, but that's adorable."

He glances down to see another cat, this one approaching to sniff at his boot.

"I don't recommend that, kitty."

[cutting_edgex23]

"I am a useful person to know," X allows.

She bends down to pick Farrah up, just in case Deadpool's boot turns into an interdimensional spider and tries to eat them all.

She doesn't step away again, however, just holds the cat draped up over her shoulder, so she can better see the room.

"You can pet her. Between the ears. If you are careful."

[littleyellowboxes]

He does. Many denizens of the wider Marvel Universe would be surprised to see just how careful Deadpool is while scritching this little cat's ears.

So cute!! askwlfhdkh

"You broke my brain with your cuteness," he informs the cat. She purrs, and butts her head against the rough part of his glove.

[cutting_edgex23]

"It is what she is best at. Steve is better at escaping."

It's a useful skill!

"You can feed them, too. If you want. The can is already open."

[littleyellowboxes]

"You're the expert here," he says, giving the cat one last pat on the head. "I'll observe!"

[cutting_edgex23]

"Okay."

X goes back into the kitchen, carrying Farrah with her. Then she deposits the cat by the food bowls, crouching down with the open can and a fork in her hand.

Half the food goes in one bowl, half in the other.

Somewhere in this the gray tabby appears as if by magic.

Food!

[littleyellowboxes]

By this point, Deadpool is of course, distracted and no longer observing.

He's looking out the window at the neighborhood.

"This is pretty...aggressively normal. I'm not saying I disapprove or nothing. But you really like it here?"

[cutting_edgex23]

"Yes. My neighbors are nice. And they are my friends, too."

She scritches Steve and Farrah between the ears, then leaves them to their food.

"And they do not mind that they do not see my guests enter. Or leave."

Beat.

"I like remembering that I am a person."

[littleyellowboxes]

Deadpool doesn't spend a lot of time contemplating his personhood. Which is probably a good thing. No one wants to see him mope around being depressed.

"You actually talk to your neighbors?! I thought that was banned in the Geneva Convention!"

Or maybe he just spends too much time in New York.

[cutting_edgex23]

"No," X says, shaking her head.

"It is only banned if you want to torture them first."

What?

[littleyellowboxes]

"Okay...that seems fake, but okay."

He shakes his head.

"So what's the plan, Stan?"

[cutting_edgex23]

"Motorcycles."

X's response is immediate.

"And the ocean."

Beat.

"My name is not Stan."

[littleyellowboxes]

"You like Oliver better? Or maybe you're a Three Stooges girl? Who's on First is a classic though."

Wait, that's not important now!

"You didn't mention motorcycles! I'm sold."

[cutting_edgex23]

X considers this for a moment.

"Joe is acceptable."

Beat.

"If you insist."

Then she heads for her front door, her keys, and the stairs beyond.

[littleyellowboxes]

"Not even close to creative enough," he says, following. "Unless it's Curly Joe, and then I'd just have to put you out of everyone's misery..."

[cutting_edgex23]

"Straight-haired Joe is more accurate."

She is just saying.

Hopefully Deadpool does not mind a yellow motorcycle.

And then, they are off, dodging through traffic and generally speeding very fast.

To the beach! Said beach is very sandy, but out near the horizon line is something jumping up and out of the water, then back in again.

Maybe it is a porpoise.

Maybe it is Namor! Given how much flesh he always has exposed, it can be difficult to tell.

[littleyellowboxes]

Let's all hope it's not Namor.

Deadpool is amusing himself by drawing obscene things in the sand with the tip of one of his katanas. And walking backwards so his footprints face the wrong direction.

He signs his masterpiece with a flourish.