There are no teddy bears at this picnic

[cutting_edgex23]

It's a lovely, sunny afternoon in the Forest of Faraway, which is why X and Bruce have brought the Princess Royal out for a picnic.

The blanket was carefully chosen by Susan, as was the basket containing the food.

The food itself is a product of the castle kitchens. They know all of Susan's favorites. It seemed easiest.

There may also be some apple pastries, just in case Norman stops by. It is best to be prepared.

Comments

[master_bruce]

Bruce likes it here. It's beautiful - fairy-tale beautiful, literally - and also weird enough to stay interesting.

Not that he's expecting anything weird to happen today. Other than helping babysit a five-year-old, which is an entirely new experience. And a rather terrifying one, at that. Maybe X is building him up to meet her Little League team again.

'Your mom bring you out here a lot, Susan?'

It's a lame question. But he has little idea how to talk to children.

[merry_heart]

The only lame question is the one you don't ask! Or so Susan would tell him if anyone had coined that particular phrase in Ambergeldar yet.

Instead she nods. "Mama and Daddy both. And my brothers." The former is much more excitng than the latter, and it shows in the tone. "We come every second Thursday, because that's Daddy's afternoon off. At least it's supposed to be. Sometimes, he is very very busy and cannot make it. Then we take things back for him. He's very fond of blackberries, but they're not in season right now. We could look for strawberries later, though. They're best when you eat them in the woods. And Daddy says when we're a little older he'll teach us all how to catch fish. I said he could go ahead and teach me, because I'm already older, but he says I still have to wait. I hope I don't have to wait until Caspian Malcolm and Laurence are older. They're little."

She turns her attention back to X.

"Do you know how to catch fish?"

[cutting_edgex23]

X considers this question, head tilting very slightly.

"It is likely," she allows. "But I do not think my methods would be useful for you."

Beat.

"And I have not done it before."

[master_bruce]

'You've never been fishing?'

He's surprised, though doesn't know why. X-Men probably don't have a lot of use for it.

He offers a smile to Susan.

'I'd show you, but I don't want to get in trouble with your dad.'

[merry_heart]

"People usually don't."

It goes with that whole absolute monarch thing her dad has going on.

Susan sighs in the really incredibly put-upon way of five-year-olds and melodramatic ingenues, then instantly brightens.

"We can climb trees instead."

Susan is very good at it.

Her mother taught her.

(And no one, but no one, climbs a tree like Her Majesty the Queen.)

[cutting_edgex23]

"That is acceptable," X allows, though she does take a moment to scan the heights of nearby trees.

Just to check.

"You will be careful? When we do."

Beat.

"Bruce and I cannot climb as high. Because we are heavier. Than you."

[master_bruce]

He glances at X, then looks to see if the trees around are good for climbing.

For kids to climb, that is. He and X would probably manage regardless.

'Yeah. Be careful. I don't want my head chopped off for letting you fall.'

...wait, is it OK to talk to children getting beheaded?

Too late now.

[merry_heart]

"Daddy wouldn't do that. He says it's a little barbaric.

"That means it's bad and something you shouldn't do," she adds, helpfully.

"He locks people in the dungeon instead."

The dungeons in Ambergeldar actually aren't that bad, as dungeons go. There's decent light and airflow and all the graffiti is spelled correctly.

(The food's terrible, though.)

[cutting_edgex23]

X does not sigh.

"Exile is more likely," X offers, to Bruce. "For you."

You know, if Susan falls and no one catches her, which --

Supremely unlikely.

Maybe even impossible.

"And we are both good at picking locks."

Or, in X's case, cutting her way through iron bars. Whichever.

[master_bruce]

Bruce manages to look chastised. And indeed, feels it! A bit.

'Well, I wouldn't like to make either of your parents mad at me. It's nice here.'

He wonders whether they'd approve of letting their daughter play with a zipwire. Quicker than actually climbing the trees, and possibly more fun.

[merry_heart]

Don't be too sure. Climbing trees is really fun, Bruce.

Of course, it's also a subject Susan has been completely distracted from at the moment.

"Why are you good at choosing locks?"

Do they do a lot of lock choosing?

Does anyone do a lot of lock choosing?

[cutting_edgex23]

"It is not choosing," X offers, attention drawn back from the surrounding trees.

"It is opening locks without a key."

And, in order to clarify --

"When it is necessary."

[master_bruce]

He glances sideways at X. He really has no experience with kids - but this doesn't seem like the sort of thing they should be telling her about. In case she gets ideas.

...though how lock-picking would be of any use to a princess is, admittedly, not clear to him.


'Only for...good reasons, though. Not like when bad people do it.'

:D?

[merry_heart]

Susan considers this.



Carefully.




Very carefully.




"Can I learn?"

Please?

She's not a bad person!

[cutting_edgex23]

X considers this, studying Susan carefully.

Very carefully.

"You will need to promise," she allows, after a moment.

"Only to use it to keep yourself safe. Or your family."

Beat.

"Or if your parents ask you. To do it."

[master_bruce]

'Uh...'

Ahaha.

He looks at X again. But on thinking about it...

'Well. It could be useful, I suppose. In case you were ever kidn...in case you ever got stuck somewhere you needed to get out of.'

Like, a spare room in her enormous castle. Not after having been abducted. At all.

[merry_heart]

"I promise."

Wait . . .

"What if somebody else needs to be safe? Who's not Mama or Daddy or Merry or Caspian Malcolm or Laurence?"

Or one of her dozens of cousins?

"Am I allowed to use it then?"

Because she has Responsibilities, X.

[cutting_edgex23]

X considers that, too.

Then, just as carefully as before --

"I think it is likely. But you will need to ask your parents. About exceptions."

Speaking of that sort of thing --

"And how to make your own judgments. About this. And when to use it."

They are a King and a Queen, and this is their world. And, you know, their daughter.

[master_bruce]

He has a bad feeling about this. A lot of people don't agree with what he and X consider priorities.

At the same time, it's a useful life skill! And it couldn't hurt.

'Maybe we should only show you if your parents say it's OK first.'

[merry_heart]

Seriously, Bruce? Seriously?

"X said it was all right. If I promised."

And she totally promised.

She'd cross her heart and pinkie swear, too! (Football wasn't the only thing Parker Lee introduced to Ambergeldar.)

So what's the problem here?

[cutting_edgex23]

X shifts position to lean her shoulder against Bruce's briefly, while also looking to Susan.

"It is okay."

Beat.

"We will need to get tools. For you. Soon. But when we get back to the palace I can show you. With mine."

What? It only makes sense.

[master_bruce]

He holds his hands up, palms outwards.

He is not about to argue with these two ladies.

'OK, OK. You win. Just...promise you won't become a famous aristocrat cat burglar when you're older.'

Those totally exist.

[merry_heart]

"Why would I want to steal cats?"

You're kind of weird, Bruce.

You're nice. X likes you, and Mama likes you, so Susan has decided to like you, too. But you're weird.

[cutting_edgex23]

"They are not very easy to keep," X allows.

"If they do not want to stay."

[master_bruce]

He glances between the two of them, unable to be sure if they're making fun of him.

'You don't have cat burglars here?'

Wow.

He makes a mental note to get hold of The Scarlet Pimpernel for X. Just so she knows he's not crazy.

'They're people. Who steal things...quietly. Like cats.'

OK, he didn't make that sound cool.