cutting_edgex23 | Putting out fires like David Bowie

Putting out fires like David Bowie

The problem with missions to the future to retrieve two people who have been lost in time is that you really don't get to choose when they're located. This is something that certain members of X-Force has only just learned.

***

If this is San Francisco, it is the city such as no inhabitant of the twenty-first century has ever seen it. The buildings are taller, the city has sprawled outside of its former dimensions, there are no trees or any sign of wildlife.

There is also no sign of people.

None.

And those buildings, arcing so grandly toward the sky -- they are crumbling into ruin.

Save for a few near the center of the city. And those belong to someone that no one living wants to meet.

Or they did, once.

Now they belong to Stryfe.

Not that anyone has a way of knowing that. Yet.

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"Well," Lilly says, looking around. The twins, toting small backpacks, huddle closer to her legs. "This may not have been Mommy's best pick, kids."

On the other hand, it is totally empty and Adrian is standing kind of funny. Maybe they could find a bathroom before they take off again.

Any building corner will do, really.

The sanitation in this day and age is awful, really. At least in the district Lilly's found herself in.

But is that --

In the distance, is that the sound of people?

And --

Gunfire?

Lilly whips around, one hand closing on the sceptre and the other reaching for Aria and Adrian's linked hands. And then she pauses, squinting into the distance.

No way.

"Joe?"

X half-turns to look at a man clad in tattered red and black.

It sounds like she says something about cutting his arms off.

There is the bright flash of claws being unsheathed --

And then she turns and heads toward Lilly.

"Lilly."

Beat.

"You are here on purpose?"

"Uh, sort of?" Lilly offers.

She glances down. Aria has affixed herself to Lilly's left leg and is making musical cooing noises in an Allegro agitato tempo. Adrian's still crossing his legs.

Almost unconsciously, Lilly twists her foot out of range. She likes these shoes.

"We were looking for a bathroom."

X's nostrils flare for a moment, then she looks back at her two companions.

"Do not let him do anything stupid. I will be back."

She turns back to Lilly.

"There is a section of building this way. With water."

It is unlikely to be very clean. But handwashing is useful.

X has seen the PSAs.

Lilly waves cheerfully to the Mad Max types and follows X. Her progress is a little hampered by the fact that Aria won't let go of her leg and Adrian won't uncross his, but eventually they make it.

Fortunately, so does Adrian.

"You're a lifesaver, Joe," Lilly says gratefully. "Hey, are we still on Earth? Because I thought yours was pretty similar to mine."

"It is the future. Here."

X does not sound overjoyed by this news.

"We are on a mission."

They were called away from another mission for this one.

X is not at all pleased.

Julian and Nori could die.

"Oh."

Lilly looks around. The future is not so bright that she has to wear shades, but she feels like Joe is probably aware of that.

"We're on a mission too, sort of. Right kids?"

"Secret mission!" Aria chirps while Adrian nods vehemently. Thanks to Uncle Havelock, the kids were totally on board with any and all spy games, secret missions, etc. It made a good cover.

"Oh," X echoes.

Beat.

"You will require aid? On your mission?"

That last is directed at Aria and Adrian. Quietly.

Then she looks back at Lilly.

"I am not allowed to ask the parameters?"

"Cookies," Adrian says firmly. Cookies are essential to a good mission.

"Yes, cookies and stealth," Lilly says absently, patting him on the head. She looks over at X.

"The parameters are flexible," she says carefully. "We're sort of f-u-g-i-t-i-v-e-s for the moment, because P-u-c-k is an a-s-s-h-o-l-e." She pauses. "Wait, I take that back. He's more of an i-d-i-o-t."

One day, her children will do very well at very unusual spelling bees.

X absorbs that, flicking another glance from Lilly to the children and back.

"I will not need to arrest him? In the bar."

Beat.

"Or anyone else?"

Edited 2009-09-15 21:50 (UTC)

"I don't think you can arrest him," Lilly says regretfully. "Some of the issues were outside of Bar, and I think we're operating on a 'don't make it worse' basis now."

She scowls.

"At least I am. And Havelock's keeping an eye on Puck, so."

It should be all right. Probably. Eventually.

"Oh."

X does not quite sound disappointed.

"Maybe he will be effective. Havelock."

This pause is longer.

"You are not planning to stay here?"

Given that nothing is moving except them --

X is concerned.

"Uh, no," Lilly says, glancing around.

"Not to insult your future but this is both seriously depressing and kind of lacking in crowds for us to blend into."

Also lacking in food and basic sanitation, which matter a lot when you're traveling with toddlers.

"I do not like it either," X says, matter-of-factly.

"And it is dangerous. Stryfe is here. And Apocalypse."

Beat.

"We should keep moving."

She flicks a look back over her shoulder, toward Deadpool and Domino.

Lilly is from Milliways. So are the children.

They have probably dealt with stranger things.

"You have a way to leave?"

The children have been raised in part by stranger things. Lilly is so not above bribing a rat to keep an eye on the kids while she hits the bathroom, and the bar rats come with bulletholes! (For speed.)

"Going now?" Adrian asks, a little timidly. He and Aria are still very, very close to Lilly's legs.

"I think so," Lilly says, smiling sideways at X. "Joe here doesn't recommend this universe."

"The past is better," X says, matter-of-factly.

"There are more people. And funnel cake."

What? It is the truth.

"But you will be okay."

X is here, and she is not about to let anything happen to anyone.

The twins lift their heads in unison at the mention of funnel cake, which makes Lilly laugh.

"Yeah, I'm not too worried."

See: X is here.

"But we probably shouldn't hang around." She lifts the Time Sceptre and then frowns. It's not refilling anywhere near as fast as it should. Maybe she shouldn't have had that magical repairman tinker with it...

"Uh, Joe? Is there anything wacky about the time in this world?"

X flicks another quick glance back at Domino and Deadpool, then looks down at the odd black armband riding high on her bicep.

"It is not moving. Here."

She takes a few steps closer to Lilly, looking down at the Time Sceptre.

"We are looking for the source of the difficulty. Apocalypse should not have this ability. Or Stryfe. There is nothing to power this kind of interruption."

Edited 2009-09-16 20:49 (UTC)

"Oh," Lilly says, a bit blankly. Before, she'd just thought that X was using Stryfe and Apocalypse as nouns, but they appear to be people. Great.

"Well, the sceptre's not going to let us get out of here for a little while, so I guess we're going to be interrupting your mission for a bit. Sorry about that, Joe."

Normally Lilly would offer to join it, but normally she does not have child-shaped barnacles adhered to her jeans.

The sound of squabbling in the background has been slowly intensifying as this more civilized conversation was taking place. Now it has cut off completely, and the guy in the ratty black and red suit (which looks like its rips were sewn together with splinters, a staple gun, and/or by somebody beyond unskilled with a homemade needle and something extremely unpleasant for thread) is sauntering their way.

The bits and pieces of his skin that are visible through the un-fixed rip in his suit are very, very ugly. He's carrying two swords strapped to his back, and a whole lot of guns strapped a whole lot of places. And he's saying, "Ooooh, munchkins!"

He may be walking their way because Domino gritted something really annoyed and pointed a gun in his face, and Wade feels like keeping the googly bits inside his skull today.

Deadpool's people skills: a gift from God. Or Fabian.

"If we get any more of the under-five crowd, I'm charging $500 a head." He sounds far more flippant than actually irritated or concerned. "This is getting a little 'inexplicable nursery school' for an apocalypse." Beat; he adds, "Lower-case a.

"It's like Daddy Daycare out here!"

Lilly, however, is scoring a more approving look.

X just levels a look at Deadpool.

A blank look.

"No, it is not."

She has, however, positioned herself between Wade and the children.

And Lilly.

"Domino. He has still not said anything useful?"

The other woman stops short of rolling her eyes. "Nothing since last time, no. How about we get a move-on. I really don't want to be here any longer than we've got to. Especially considering -- "

X nods, half-turning to Lilly.

"The children do not need to be carried?"

Speed is -- even more imperative than it was a few minutes ago.

He puts a finger on his nose (the approximate area where his nose is under the mask; he misses by an inch or two) and immediately sticks his hand up in the air. "Not it!"

"Sworeds," Aria says, wide-eyed. "Sharp," Adrian reminds her. Uncle Havelock has taught them well.

"It's a little inexplicable nursery school for my life," Lilly mutters.

"And we don't touch other people's swords without permission," she adds for the children's benefit. They have magpie-like instincts for shiny things, which makes her question the nature of heredity all over again.

And then she tunes back into the grownup conversation.

"Actually, that's probably a good idea. Come here, Aria. Adrian, your Aunt Joe is going to give you a lift."

The guy in the black and red suit gets an unimpressed look.

"No worries, I wouldn't have even made you carry the squid if she were here."

"He speaks in tangents. Deadpool," X informs Lilly, very seriously.

Too bad she doesn't know about his issues with the fourth wall.

Then she studies Adrian for a minute, as if weighing him.

Or giving him a moment to panic and run away.

"Piggyback will be most effective. Do not cut off my air supply."

And now to actually pick him up --

Ha! Touching people's swords.

"They came from the same sparkly time traveling plot contrivance as what's-her-face and Priscilla, didn't they?" That would be Hope, the weird kid Nate picked up somewhere along the timestream, and Cable, Nathan Christopher Charles Dayspring Askani'sonsdlfkoaksfas;adf Summers; G.I. Jesus himself.

(Deadpool also has a gift when it comes to nicknames. Cable apparently just has a gift when it comes to names.)

"They to-hoootally did!" he crows, pleased with his own deductive prowess. The voice is low like crunching gravel and a broken vacuum cleaner, like the guttural sounds made by a sack of drowning cats.

Adrian is sort of closer to Deadpool's level now that he's up on Lolita Wolverine's (like Malibu Barbie, but with more adamantium claws) back. Deadpool waves at him with maniacal cheer.

Adrian waves back. Aria giggles.

Lilly wonders if maybe her children are getting to be too comfortable around crazy people with weapons.

"I carry our sparkly time-travel contrivance with me, actually," she says to Deadpool. "Also I don't know anyone named Priscilla."

She glances at Joe, wondering if these are people she should know.

"Theirs is not broken," X says, matter-of-factly.

Then she reshuffles Adrian a little, before obtaining a comfortable position.

Domino seems -- more amused than she should, perhaps. Not that X notices.

"I do not know anyone, either. With that name."

Beat.

"We should go."

And then, of course, X starts walking.

Otherwise they will never get anywhere.

(Deadpool is problematic. So are the children.)

This time, Domino does roll her eyes. "He means Cable," she says.

"Aw Dom." Deadpool trots along behind X-666. (That's her name, right? He's pretty sure that's the name.) "I always knew you cared."

"Oh," X says.

Deadpool does not make much sense. X shifts position in order to be able to look at Deadpool over her shoulder. Briefly.

"She does not want to have sex with you. Domino. I do not think flirting will help."

Hopefully Adrian's virgin ears will not be harmed by this kind of talk.

Considering Puck and Lilly's usual speech and behavior, X may be considered tame -- when it comes to that, at least. Who knows?

Adrian's virgin ears have already had a foam penis bonked off of them, and that's a slow day at the Goodfellow-Kane-Vetinari household.

Lilly, however, is intrigued.

"Wait, who's trying to have sex with who? Because sometimes flirting helps, but sometimes you just have to give up and back off before you get stalkery."

In general, it is better to leave the stalkery business to Deadpool.

He is good at it.

This time is no exception. And after a great deal of running, and fighting (verbally) and more running --

X meets Kiden.

Only one of them walks away.

But Kiden asked. That will be important to remember.

Later.

But for now --

For now X has to say goodbye.

And time moves on. For some.

Edited 2010-01-21 02:09 (UTC)

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Putting out fires like David Bowie

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